Live Life to the Fullest

Labels

2011-10-20T04:50:00.000-07:00

Punk, girly, country, emo, badass, rocker, sadist, scene..those are all labels that we try to fit our personality and style into. A couple weeks ago I was talking to my sister and saying how I don't know who I am as far as labeling goes. She was like see this is what bugs me, you are so fake because you say that you are one label and then you act the opposite. You have two different personalities, with some people you act one way and with other people you act like your normal self. I was a little taken back by this but it made sense to me because I have been trying to be two different people. So I asked my sister what she would label me as because I had no idea and she said "You're like me, I'm Bi I like two different things, I can be girly or rocker. I love girly cute things but I also love rocker and dark things." This actually made sense to me because during the summer I'm more likely to dress girly then anything and during the fall and winter I'm more rocker dressed. I still love cute girly things but I also love scremo music and rocker like things.

So I'm tired of hiding one side from people, very few people actually get to meet both sides of my personality but I thought since were into this subject I would share with you my real true self. This blog has been more my girly, happy side where I don't show my anger or depression. I also have a tumblr that I have become quite fond of, and update everyday. It has everything about it on it, my girly side along with my depression side. This is taking a lot of me to share this with you because I don't hold back on my tumblr. So just as a warning but if you are easily triggered by anything I suggest you don't look at my tumblr, or just be cautious.

http://keeptruckingon.tumblr.com/

Peace & Love

Good and Bad

2011-10-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

I failed my first practical by 1 freaking point!!! Ugh it sucked so badly but I didn't feel that bad because over half the class failed as well. I don't know school was just getting to me so badly the last two weeks. I was so close to just quiting but then I got some papers back and realized that I'm actually doing okay in my classes. It just lifted my spirits knowing that my grades are still okay and I am still passing the program. I still think they put too much pressure on us in this program but what can I do. I've been so stressed out lately and my family life isn't helping much either. We are stuck in a sticky situation with my neighbor who is my sister's best friend and more like a sister to me. I hate seeing people in pain and knowing that there is nothing I can do to make it better. I think my anti-anxiety meds need to be increased because I'm still feeling the stress of anxiety right now.

However, in other news..the good news...I got water boy!! Yesterday I went in there and he asked for my number, we've been talking ever since. I knew I felt a connection with him since the first time I saw him. We are literally perfect for one another, we like the same things and we both like each other. I'm so happy about this but I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up and it will all be a dream. I guess you really do find someone when you least expect it and in places you least expect to find someone. We shall see where this goes..

Peace & Love

Updates!!!

2011-09-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

Why do I always want to start off my blogs with "so" it's like "so today..." ugh why can't I ever get past that. Well it's been awhile since I last updated you on school and such. Let me just start off by saying school is AMAZING!!! I honestly haven't been this happy to go to class in like forever. I love all my professors, well two of them anyway..no I like all of them but only love two of them lol. Two of my professors are a tad bit more lad back on what they expect from you in a practical situation whereas the other professor thinks you have to be perfect within her standards and if you are anything far from that then you fail. No but really I am loving my classes, the lectures are entertaining and I'm learning so much. Most of all though, I am loving the labs. We have learned massage first and let me tell you, we get to know each other real well real fast. Like yesterday in lab I got to massage someone's buttox. Yes I got to put my hands on someone's ass and rub it down, okay that just sounds wrong now. It was interesting though I mean actually giving someone else a message was fine but when it came to switch partners and have someone rub my ass, that was awkward. My classmates are amazing, I'm getting to know everyone very well and we are slowly becoming close friends. I have my first practical next week so hopefully I don't flat out fail that. Ugh that would so suck if I failed my first easiest practical ever. All in all, PTA school is going great and I am loving life right now.

Oh and in other news, Water Boy is starting to flirt with me more. I really like this guy...If only I can get him to ask me out or just get his number. It sucks that I'm so shy.

Peace & Love

Earthquakes, Beach and other Randoms

2011-08-23T17:59:00.000-07:00

So today around 1:51 we had a 5.8 earthquake here on the east coast. I know that people in California are probably like get over yourself that's nothing compared to what we get here. However this is the biggest for our area and my first EVER quake. I was at work when it happened and wasn't quite sure what was happening at first. My boss and I kind of looked at each other like aren't we supposed to be doing something? Needless to say, we were all safe and thankfully nothing damage wise happened. It was very weird, because I had this feeling that something was going to happen and then I heard it and all of a sudden our whole office was shaking. After the fact, it was kind of cool, I can finally say I've been in a decent earthquake.

In other news, my family went to V.Beach for a few days which was a very needed break. My family has been through a lot this past year and we all just needed a few days to relax, and unwind. Our hotel room was so nice, we had two balconies! Here's a photo of the beach one of the days we were there:

The water was warm one day and freezing the next, I actually gotten beaten up by the waves a couple times. All in all, it was a wonderful time to get back to our relaxed selves. On our way home we decided to go and find something new. We ended up finding a petting zoo, another beach aka "the outer banks" and a swamp! Here's a pic of the swamp that we found.

In other news, my classes start on Monday! I had orientation at the beginning of this month and it went fairly well. I actually knew 2 people in the class which was great because I didn't feel completely out of the loop. My professors are great and I'm looking forward to starting here in the next few days!

Peace & Love

Loves

2011-06-30T07:49:00.001-07:00

So I know I found out like a month ago but I'm finally super excited about this PTA program! It's like I'm finally realizing that this isn't a dream and that this is really happening! This morning I woke up and did my usual computer website checking, but I added checking my college email to the list. Since I'm not taking any classes this semester I usually only check it once a week now. Most of my emails were from Facebook (I have my Facebook linked to my college email) but one was from the PTA director. The tittle read "Welcome PTA class of 2013" I got so excited and happy! It was up until this point it hadn't really sunk in that I was really in the program and I am starting end of August and the next 2 years I will have my hands full. Now though it's like oh my goodness I need to go out and get stuff, I need to hit the gym, I have Dr appointments to make and so on. I mean I knew I had a lot to do but it was all in the future like oh I have a couple months yet, I still have time. It's now almost July, Friday is the first day of July which means I literally have just under two months till my program starts. That's not a lot of time if you think about it, especially since I have orientation the beginning of August which is in like a month. Also my family goes to the beach mid August, so after the beach I have like a week and a half if that till classes start. Wow time is flying by so fast!

Anyway, as I was starting to freak out because I don't have a lot of time left, I was thinking of things that I need to get before class starts. This is a whole new experience for me, I've never gone to this campus and I don't know any one in my program. Everything is very new and It's not like I have some manual to go by on what to buy or what to get or what to know before starting. I wish someone had a website or blog or YouTube channel telling me what to expect. This is when I got the brilliant idea (because of course I'm a genius) to document every little thing that I do from start to finish about this program. I am going to be giving you the first insider look on becoming a PTA student and being a PTA student and graduating as a PTA.

Okay so as my first piece of advice because I am now a PTA student (which sounds so awesome!) you need to make sure you are comfortable with your body! Of course I am not (really I don't know anyone who fully is) but since we are students we will be working and practicing on each other. Which tells me that I really need to hit the gym! My personal goal for the next two months is to loose at least 20 pounds. That's 10 pounds a month. Of course I could go a lot higher but I don't like loosing a lot of weight really fast because that just sets you up to gain it back quicker. I am going to march my big ass down to Planet Fitness and sign myself up for a yearly plan. I figured if I'm paying for a gym membership I'm more likely to actually go to it (at least I hope so). I picked Planet Fitness because it's a smaller gym and being that this is my first time joining a gym I'm better off with a smaller less intimidating one. So that's my goal for this month and the next.

I then realized that I most likely will need a watch while in the program because we do take blood pressure. I have taken a first responder class where we learned how to take blood pressure but I had to always watch the clock on the wall and I would get so annoyed with that. I started looking around online for cheap but cute but not too flashy watches. Something that I could wear on an everyday basis and not have to worry about it getting broken or damaged. I was actually on my YouTube channel watching one of my people that I follow video on a haul she did and she was showing a very cute wrap bracelet watch from American Eagle. I was like Oh my God I need that watch, that's perfect! So, what did I do? Yup I went out and bought it today, and I'm actually thinking of going back this weekend and buying it in more colors. It's a leather wrap long bracelet with a watch on it. I was going to insert a pic of it but blogspot doesn't want to work. It's on American Eagle's website if you are interested. Of course there are many more things I need to pick up between now and then but this is a start. I will keep you updated as much as possible.

Peace & Love

Beach Reads

2011-06-21T17:39:00.000-07:00

June is half over and everyone is getting ready to go to the beach or already been to the beach. My family takes a yearly summer trip to the beach in mid August so I'm looking forward to that. While packing your beach bag, don't forget to pack a good book to read while relaxing on the sand or in your hotel room if you're staying overnight. Here are my top 5 books for this summer and I will be downloading all of these too my nook before leaving for the beach:

1. Beach Blondes (summer series) by Katherine Applegate:
Three months. Three guys. One amazing summer.

Summer Smith is in for the best summer of her life. Between the cold weather and her boyfriendless existence in Minnesota, Summer is ready for sun, sand, and boys in the Florida Keys. And by the end of the first day, she has more than enough to keep her busy:

Adam, the senator's son, has looks, power, and all the money in the world.

Diver, the mystery man, is mellow, intriguing, and definitely unique.

And Seth, the perfect guy...only he has a girlfriend.

But with new friends, cute guys, and miles of hot white sand, Summer's in for more trouble than she thinks....

2. Tan Lines by Katherine Applegate:

The second installment to the novel above ^.

SUMMER CAN'T WAIT TO GET BACK TO THE FLORIDA Keys. She, Marquez, and Diana have already decided to get an appartment so they can spend the whole summer together. But even with her friends by her side, Summer is in for more boy trouble.

Summer's boyfriend, Seth, is ready to take their relationship to the next level, but he's all the way across the country in California. Enter Austin, the hottie from spring break whom Summer hasn't stopped thinking about.

With Austin flirting 24/7 and Seth hundreds of miles away, Summer is about to learn about true love...

3. Endless Summer by Jennifer Echoles:

Two irresistible boys. One unforgettable summer.

Lori can’t wait for her summer at the lake. She loves wakeboarding and hanging with her friends—including the two hotties next door. With the Vader brothers, she's always been just one of the guys. Now that she’s turning sixteen, she wants to be seen as one of the girls, especially in the eyes of Sean, the older brother. But that’s not going to happen—not if the younger brother, Adam, can help it.

Lori plans to make Sean jealous by spending time with Adam. Adam has plans of his own for Lori. As the air heats up, so does this love triangle. Will Lori’s romantic summer melt into one hot mess?

4. We'll Always have Summer by Jenny Han:

Belly has only ever been in love with two boys, both with the last name Fisher. And after being with Jeremiah for the last two years, she's almost positive he is her soul mate. Almost. Conrad has not gotten over the mistake he made when he let Belly go even as Jeremiah has always known that Belly is the girl for him. So when Belly and Jeremiah decide to make things forever, Conrad realizes that it's now or never—tell Belly he loves her, or lose her for good.

Belly will have to confront her feelings for Jeremiah and Conrad and face a truth she has possibly always known: she will have to break one of their hearts.

5. Sundays at Tiffany's by James Patterson: I saw the movie on Lifetime and loved it, so of course I have to read the book.

AN IMAGINARY FRIEND

Jane Margaux is a lonely girl. Her mother, a powerful Broadway producer, makes time for her only once a week, for their Sunday trip to admire jewelry at Tiffany's. Jane has only one friend: a handsome, comforting, funny man named Michael. He's perfect. But only she can see him. Michael can't saty forever, though. On Jane's ninth birthday he leaves, promising her that she'll forget him soon.

AN UNEXPECTED LOVE

Years later, in her thirties, Jane is just as alone as she was as a child. And despite her own success as a playright, she is even more trapped by her overbearing mother. Then she meets a man, a handsome, comforting, funny man. He's perfect

AN UNFORGETTABLE TWIST

Sundays at Tiffany's is a heartrending love story that surpasses all expectations of why these people have been brought together momentum and gripping emotional twists that have made James Patternson a bestseller all over the world, Sundays at Tiffany's takes an altogether fresh look at the timeless and transforming power of love.

So happy reading everyone, stay tuned for some book reviews!

Peace & Love

Of all Ironies

2011-06-20T17:41:00.000-07:00

Well how about this for perfect timing:

So there I am sitting at work doing my thing and my phone goes off. Someone is calling me, but I don't recognize the phone number so I just let it ring and go to voice mail. After noticing that the person who called me left a voice mail, I check it to find that it is a message from a job that I had applied for about a month ago. One month ago I found out that I didn't get accepted into CCC's PTA program so I got all bummed out and started looking for full time jobs. I applied for one at a hospital near me in the oncology unit as the meet and greet person. I didn't think much of it afterwards and once I found out I was in at MC's program I completely forgot about it. So this phone call was from this job that I had applied for calling saying they wanted an interview with me. I just had to laugh about that one, I mean come on..all of a sudden every thing is working towards my favor? So I had to turn down my 2nd choice job today, oh well.

Peace & Love

25 Random Questions

2011-05-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

It's late at night and I'm waiting for pain meds to kick in so I can sleep so what better way to waste time then do a 25 random question post? Here we go:

25 Questions :

1. Do you have any pets?

Yes I have 1 dog named Brandy. She is a cocker spaniel which we think is mixed with a long haired chihuahua. Very weird combination but I promise she is the most adorable thing in the world!

2. Name 3 things that are physically close to you.

My nightsand, pillows, my laptop

3. What's the weather like right now?

Warm and kind of humid. Starting to feel like summer!

4. Do you drive? If so have you crashed?

Yes I've been driving for 7 years now! I have had fender benders, nothing serious. I did crash my mom's car once with my whole family in it, but again nothing serious.

5. What time did you wake up this morning?

I got up at 6am because my whole family went to Hershey Park today!

6. When was the last time you showered?

Yesterday, I need to take a shower tomorrow morning, since I was out in the rain all day today.

7. What was the last movie you saw?

Jumping the Broom: good movie, but I have to say I was very exhausted when I saw it so I was dozing in and out through most of the movie. But it was a very funny movie!

8. What does your last text message say?

Probably from my sister, something about a ride she was on since we were just at Hershey Park.

9. What's your ringtone?

My phone is almost always on vibrate since I work and I don't like my phone going off every minute because of a text message.

10. Have you ever been to a different country?

No but I really want to..check out my post titled Bucket List.

11. Do you like sushi?

No, although I haven't honestly tried it, just the thought of eating raw fish sounds nasty.

12. Where do you buy your groceries?

Giant mostly or Harris Teeter.

13. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster?

Just when I'm in pain and I can't fall asleep because of the pain. I usually don't have problems falling asleep because I just can't sleep.

14. How many siblings do you have?

just my sister but I have a lot of really close friends who I consider family.

15. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?

A laptop, easier to use when traveling and I can have it with me when I'm downstairs.

16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?

24, crazy how old i'm getting!

17. Do you wear contacts or glasses?

I wear contacts during the day and glasses right before bed.

18. Do you color your hair?

I get highlights, so half my head is colored.

19. Tell me something you are planning to do today.

Well I went to Hershey Park with my family and my sister's friend. That took up most of the day, Now i'm getting ready to go to bed!

20. When was the last time you cried?

A couple nights ago because I was in so much pain :(

21. What is your perfect pizza topping?

Just cheese, but I don't eat pizza very often, if at all.

22. Which do you prefer-hamburgers or cheeseburgers?

Cheeseburgers definitely!

23. Have you ever had an all-nighter?

Yup, I'm in college, it's pretty common.

24. What is your eye color?

Hazel green. It kind of changes everyday so today it's hazel green.

25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?

yes I can. I like coke better than pepsi but I will drink either one.

The Feeling of a Zombie

2011-05-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

For the past month I have been having trouble with ear pain. I went to the ER probably 3 weeks ago and they said it was pressure in my inner ear, so I've been taking sudifeed and they gave me high dose of pain pills. Well normally this has been working for me but not last night. It started around 10:30 pm and my ear started to hurt so right away I took 2 sudifeed and 1 of my pain pills. That seemed to help for a little bit, so I decided to watch a movie before going to bed. Well around 1:30 am, my ear started to hurt really bad again. Now I can't take any more sudifeed for another 2 hours and my pain pill for another 3 hours, so what was I supposed to do? Well, I ended up trying to just deal with it and bear it because I really didn't want to overdose myself. That lasted for about half an hour and I started crying because I was in so much pain. I ended up taking another sudifeed, and 2 Tylenol. Again, nothing worked I was still in excruciating pain. Now it was 2:30 am and I still had yet to fall asleep, despite being exhausted. I ended up just laying there in bed for another two hours hoping for something to kick in and for the pain to stop. Well, 4:30 came and went and I was still awake, and still in pain. So I went back downstairs to see what else I could possibly take to make the pain stop, I ended up taking another one of my pain pills in hopes that it might work this time, which it didn't. 6:00 am came and I was so tired and just wanted to sleep and for the pain to stop. I got my computer out and Goggled how to cure ear pain at home. They said to put olive oil in your ear (just a couple drops) and luckily we had some downstairs. So I went downstairs again, got some olive oil on a Q-Tip and stuck it in my ear a couple times. I went back upstairs and laid down with that ear up for about an hour. I don't know if it helped but it felt funny and I wanted to think that it would help. Well around 8:00 my ear FINALLY started to stop hurting and I made myself go to sleep. I got about 3 hours of sleep before my mom comes in and tells me to wake up. So now my ear is full of olive oil, hurting again, and I feel like a zombie from all the pain pills and no sleep. It is going to be a very interesting day!

Peace & Love

I DID IT!

2011-05-19T08:19:00.000-07:00

I got accepted into MC's PTA program!!!!! Okay so yesterday I got the mail and there was a paper saying I had a large envelope at the post office waiting for me. I was like hmmm, I wonder what that could be because I wasn't expecting to get into MC's program at all. See I had taken this test that we were supposed to take in order to be qualified to get in but I didn't do very well on it. I applied for the program anyway since I had all my classes done and I had applied last year too. This school was definitely not my first choice school considering the neighborhood that it is located in. However, since I did get accepted into the program, I will go because it would be incredibly stupid of me to not go, considering how hard it is to get into these programs.

Now I have to go get a complete physical done, have a background check done on me and take a drug test. All of which I should pass with no problems but it's not a lot more work that I have to do this summer that I didn't think I was going to have to do. This is all so crazy, I mean I seriously did not think I was going to be accepted into this program. I'm super excited and proud of myself but I'm also like very nervous and scared. The drive to this school is on one of the most busiest highways in my state so it's going to be a hike and a half driving up there everyday. OMG I'm just completely floored right now, this is so surreal! I finally did it! All my hard work and all this planning for the past year and a half finally paid off, it's something that I thought was never going to happen. I am just so amazed at how things have turned out. I mean leave it to me to get accepted at the one school that I didn't really want to go to and not get accepted to the school that I did want to go to. But non the less, I am officially a PTA student at MC as of 9:15 this morning!

Peace & Love

What is Meant to Be

2011-05-16T04:00:00.000-07:00

Well I got that letter...and I didn't make it :( Doesn't say why I didn't make it it just says I wasn't selected. It makes me more mad than sad, I mean I put so much hard work into trying to get accepted this time around and I still didn't get in. I had everything that they needed plus 5 years of experience, you'd think that would be enough. I have a feeling that all the spots went to in county students and since I am out of county I was put on the back burner. So there goes my hope of becoming a PTA I think, I don't think I'm going to try again in a year but we shall see. I'm getting to the point where I'm tired of school and I just want to work now so maybe that's a sign saying I'm not meant for this job after all. A lot of people are asking if all these past classes that I took were a waste of my time and I don't think so. I don't regret taking any of them, I learned a lot and I definitely can take the knowledge wherever I may go.

So now my job hunting begins, I'm looking for a full time job in the health care area. I'm looking at hospitals, doctor offices, that kind of thing. I already applied for a job with the oncology center at a hospital near me. Maybe that is where I am supposed to be, I don't know where I'm going anymore. It's so hard not knowing what you are anymore. I have been described as a future PTA student for the past year and a half and now all of a sudden I'm nothing again. I'm getting ready to leave for work soon, so this will be interesting to see what all my patients have to say about the matter. I know a lot of people are going to be mad that I was selected.

Peace & Love

waiting is for the Pits

2011-05-13T12:51:00.000-07:00

Yes I'm still waiting for that letter to tell me whether or not I got accepted into CCC. I hate this waiting game, it's such a pain. I actually tried calling up at the college today to see if I could find out anything but no one answered the phone so they may not be there today. I just would really like to know so that I can plan my life, you know. At this point, I'm kind of preparing myself for the worst. I would like to think that I got accepted but I honestly don't know and I figure it's better to be prepared for the worst. I was thinking a lot today about what I could do if I don't get accepted and I have found a couple options.

I could find another job pretty much doing what I'm doing now but get paid twice as much and it would be full time. I actually like this idea because I'm getting to the point where I'm tired of school, ready to be done with it and I don't really want to go back. I did finish up with my last exam yesterday so I am officially out for the summer, Yay! So with that said, I'm kind of like well if I don't get in then that was my last classes forever because I don't see myself applying again in the future. This has been such a hard, stressful year and a half and I just don't feel like going anymore. On the other hand, I'm also like but I've come so far, and worked so hard that it would be a total bust if I just gave up now. So I don't know what I want to do right now. I guess it really all just depends on that stupid letter I'm supposed to be getting in the mail anytime now. If I get accepted then I will go into the program no doubt. If I don't get accepted then I will find a full time job, either in a doctors office or at a hospital. I would probably work full time for a year and then maybe possibly apply again. I'm just ready to start my life and get working so I can make money. I'm tired of this living off of 50 dollars a week thing. I feel old too because I am 23 years old, I should be working, finding my soul mate, blah blah blah.

My sister was telling me the other day that if she were me she would be worried about finding a boyfriend and getting married. I'm just not worried about that right now, it's like totally not a priority for me at the moment. Honestly it's not really a priority at all for me. I kind of like being single it's nice not having to worry about anyone else and being able to just take care of yourself and what not. You know where your money is going and most of the time it's on things you want or like to do. You know, if I find a guy that sweeps me off my feet then maybe I will consider getting married. Oh and don't get me started on kids, that's the other thing. I'm not too sure I actually want kids, they are cute and all but boy are they a lot of work. My cousin has twin girls and I've been in their life since day one, so I've been able to watch them grow up. My family tends to watch them quite often so the mom (my cousin) can go out, so I know what it is like having kids. It is a lot of work, they take a lot of effort and exhaust you.

I would love to travel yet in my lifetime, so having a family isn't really ideal to me yet. There are so many places that I would love to travel to but I can't do that with kids and a husband who may or may not like to travel. Anyway enough with my little rants, I will go and continue to wait for my future life letter so to speak.

Peace & Love

Mothers

2011-05-08T07:32:00.000-07:00

First of all, let me just wish all the mothers a very happy Mother's Day! I hope that you all enjoy your day and get some rest! Now I wasn't sure how I was going to write this blog because honestly I haven't been a huge fan of my mom my whole life. Growing up from years birth to about 12 I had always been a daddy's girl. I would always choose him over my mom for anything. Now it's not like I disliked my mom because I didn't I just wasn't as close to her as I was to my dad. I didn't start getting close to her until after my dad passed away and I had no one else to be with really. At first I didn't like her because she took my freedom away, since I had to help out with my sister a lot more then. I couldn't do a whole lot with my friends after school because I had to watch my sister, and on weekends I was usually working. So through out high school I was kind of distant from my mother since she kind of took my childhood away from me. At the time I didn't really realize why she had to do this, but now I understand and I wish I wasn't so harsh on her in those years.

After I graduated from high school, my mom and I started to become closer. I was growing up and needed advice about jobs, college, etc. and she was there for me. We started to hang out more, go shopping together, go to dinner, see a movie that kind of stuff. It was nice to be able to have someone I could look up to and relay on them to help me if I needed anything. At this point my sister and I used to become closer too, we started to hang out more often as well.

Now I am super close to my mom and wouldn't know what to do with out her in my life. She is one of my best friends and I can tell her anything. I consider her one of my role models because I don't know if I could have done what she did after my dad died. She literally just picked up her life and continued on, she knew she had to get done what she needed to and that's what helped her. She now raises my sister and I on a part time salary and we get by. Money is sometimes tight in my house but we survive, we always do. So I dedicate this post to my mother who has always been there for me, even if I didn't want anything to do with her. She is an amazing women and I hope to be just as amazing as her when I get older. So thanks mom for everything that you have done for me, I really appreciate it! Love you!

Bucket List

2011-05-05T19:53:00.000-07:00

Yup everyone has their list of things they want to do/accomplish before they die. I honestly haven't given much thought about it but maybe I should. With all this talk about the world coming to an end soon, everyone has their own opinions about when the world is coming to an end, personally I hope it's soon! So here is my top ten things I would like to accomplish before I die in no particular order:

1. Visit Alaska: I have always wanted to go on an Alaskan cruise. I love the scenery of the snow covered mountains and the ice glaciers, well from what I've seen in photographs anyway. I want to stay in a little log cabin house on the mountains over looking a lake, pond, ocean, some kind of water. I just think that would be amazing in itself and I would feel like I'm already in heaven. Of course I would only go there in the summer, I don't want to be freezing the whole time I'm there.

2. Get a husky: For those of you who don't know me, I am seriously obsessed with huskies. I would love to have one of my own and raise it from puppy to adult. I have no real remembrance of when my obsession began or what started it but it has blossomed into this big loving adoration. Whenever I see a husky on the street being walked I usually have to go and say hi to it. I just think they are beautiful creatures and I would be honored to call one my own.

3. Write my life story in book form: I have been through a lot in my life and I feel as though I should share it with the world. Opening this blog is part of that reason, and for my own personal journal. I am sure everyone has their life story and they should, but I think mine is very story like. I always would say to myself this would only happen in a book. I believe that my readers would laugh, cry, get angry right along with me as they are reading the happenings of my life. As a promise to my future potential readers; I will not leave a single bit of information out no matter how hard it is for me to relive it.

4. Learn to dance: I wish I could dance I should probably say. I always love watching dancing movies like Step Up and I don't know but there are others out there. I just want to go out on the dance floor and shake what the good lord gave me, or something like that. I really would love to take hip hop dance lessons and be able to show off at the next wedding or dance party I attend.

5. Learn to play the guitar: My dad played the guitar while he was living and would try to teach me but I was never interested. Given this was back when I was 10 or 11 years old. However, now I would love to learn how to play but my loving father is no longer with us *RIP Dad* and I am sure if he was still living he would have already taught me how to play. I still own his guitar, it's standing behind my chair in its case. I do take it out every now and then and clean it up, try to play it, give up and put it right back where it was before. Some day I will learn how to play it so when people ask me why do I have a guitar, I can show them how I am a awesome guitar player.

6. Visit the moon: Of course this is one that may not happen, but I can wish right? I don't know what it is about the moon and its galaxy but it's so fascinating to me. I love stars, I always have and probably always will. I love looking up at the stars and just thinking or not thinking. It's one of those things where you wonder what really is up there and how far is it really from you. I would love to just be on the moon looking down at earth and being able to say that I was that much closer to the stars. I promise if I ever do make it to the moon, I will take loads of pics for Facebook and bring back some moon cheese :)

7. Go on an African Safari: I want to see elephants, and giraffes and other African animals up close and personal. Just thinking about it makes me want to go even more. I see pictures and videos about people going on safaris and I envy them so much. Animals are such a mysterious thing to me, they each have their unique characteristics and behaviors. No one animal is exactly alike and I love that, I just want to go see animals in their natural environments and take loads of pictures.

8. Open my own photography business: This at one point was going to be my career, until I realized that it would cost more to open it then it would bring in. I have been taking pictures for most of my life now. Most everyone who knows me, knows that I am a photographer. I usually just take photos at friends' events for free just because I like to. I would love to have my own dark room but with film photography becoming non existent, that dream is slowly vanishing. I do however would love to have my own photography studio where I can take digital photos and showcase my work.

9. Fall in love: It's easy to say but to actually seriously fall in love with someone is very hard to do. You have to give your whole self to this other person and hope that they don't break you. It's a very scary feeling to love someone so much that you would do anything and I mean anything for them. I want to be able to feel love, not that high school love where you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend you love them after your first kiss or date or whatever. I'm talking about that serious romantic adult love that people fall into when they find their soul mates.

10. Go on a major shopping spree: To be able to go into all my favorite stores and buy whatever I want at the time and not have to worry about price or if I have enough money to get it. I want to come out of the mall with 100 bags and feel as though I have truly shopped. Now with this economy the way it is right now, this goal of mine probably won't happen for a very long time. I just want to be able to shop with out having to count how much money I have left and without worrying about how much I'm paying for an item. If I like then I buy it, that's the plan.

So there you have it, my top 10 things I would like to accomplish before I die. Some of these things are more achievable then others but I still would love to be able to say on my death bed that I accomplish most or all of these things. So what's on your bucket list?

May 15th

2011-05-02T18:56:00.000-07:00

Yup so thats when I should find out if I got into this PTA program I applied for. I have a mix of emotions right now. A little bit of scared, nervous, excited, all of the above lol. I'm scared because what if I don't get accepted then I really have to find something else to do with my life. It's all coming down to just 13 days and it's so surreal like this is it this is when I find out what my future will hold. I'm going to be so nervous now every time I go to the mailbox. It's going to be like dun dun dun lets see what I get today.

Ugh I'm so like nervous I guess, my mom is so excited but I just can't get excited because I feel as though if I let myself get too excited to find out then when I do find out and I don't make it in I'm going to be super bummed and be depressed and stuff. I honestly am going to be a basket case if I don't make it into this program. I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself if I don't make it. I mean yeah I have a couple of options but nothing like this. I guess we will have to see. I will let you know as soon as I find out.

*Go with Peace and Love*

Cupcake Love

2011-04-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

I have this new bad hobby of mine, it's baking and decorating cupcakes. I really don't particularly like to eat them I just like to bake and decorate them. It started last November when my twin cousins turned 2 and their theme for the party was Elmo. I was online looking up desert options for the party to help their mom out and I saw Elmo and Big Bird cupcakes. I was like Oh My God I have to make those, so I called up the twin's mom and was like so I found these cupcakes online and I want to make them for the party. She was excited and couldn't wait to see them. I looked further online to see different variations of the cupcakes and found one that looked simple enough and easy to make. I went off to the store and bought a cake mix for the cupcakes and all my icing and decorating needs. It took me about 2 hours to bake and decorate all of these cupcakes but I must say they turned out amazing and looked so cool! Here's a picture of my Elmo cupcakes. Now please note I am not a professional baker by any means. This was my first time ever decorating cupcakes so I was very happy with how they turned out.

So for Easter of course I had to make some cupcakes. My grandma was coming in so I wanted to make something for the family to eat and have to snack on. I didn't feel like making regular size cupcakes because I was also making a bunny cake for when the whole family got together. I went to Michaels and looked around in their baking isle and found this mini cupcake/muffin pan which are like bite size and I was like OMG I have to get this. I thought it would be perfect to use to make my mini easter cupcakes. My mom had gotten me this cupcake book that had all these really yummy looking recipes to make from scratch for cupcakes and muffins so I was flipping through this book and saw the recipe for lemon cupcakes. I asked my mom what she thought and we both agreed that lemon cupcakes would be a great refreshing spring treat to make. I then went online to find a frosting recipe to use on top of the mini cupcakes. I found this lemon butter cream frosting recipe that looked and sounded good. Well long story short I made my cupcakes and the frosting and they turned out amazing as well. Needless to say they didn't stick around for very long, which means that I will probably be making them again very soon. Here's a picture of the lemon cupcakes I made for Easter. The decoration on top is just sugar pieces that I found at Michaels, so no I did not make those.

So there you have it my new hobby. Who knows maybe I will go some where with this, hey it could be my back up if this PTA thing doesn't work out. Hope you all had a wonderful Easter!

My Life

2011-04-28T05:07:00.000-07:00

I am a 23 year old who is still in college trying to figure out where she belongs in this messed up world. Okay so I did kind of figure out where I belong its just getting there that is the problem. A couple years ago I graduated with my A.A in general studies but couldn't find a job because the economy sucked so badly. So one day I was at work doing my every day jobs and I was like why am I not going into this field? The pay is great, it's in demand right now and you have well enough experience to know what you are doing already. Which then started my whole "I want to become a Physical Therapist Assistant" journey. I started looking up the requirements to see what I needed and so forth, I found out that I only needed to take a few classes mostly science and then take this god awful test which I still have yet to pass in order to apply to MC's program. So I take some classes ( I'm taking my last two right now) and I take this awful test which I didn't do horrible on just not what they wanted ( which if you ask me is ridiculous because I think they put too much pressure on kids these days..which that can turn into its own little rant so don't get me started) but I ended up sending in my application for last fall anyway. I got my decline letter saying thanks for applying but you aren't quite ready for this yet. Which is a bunch of bologna because I've only been doing this for 4 years of my life by that point so I think I'm ready. Anyway, that was all fine and dandy I wasn't really looking forward to going to TP campus right then anyway.

Summer comes and goes without any huge adventure, and Fall semester starts up once again at MC. I take Anatomy 1 and that was a very hard but enjoyable class. I end up taking this awful test again in February to see if I can do any better to higher my chances of being accepted and nope I did worse! Given they did change the test completely so I did have to take a new test that I had no idea what was on it. Oh and I found another college that I am absolutely in love with. It's an hour and a half away from my house but the campus is smaller, I love the safe feeling I get when I'm there, not at all like TP. Their PTA program is only 18 months long instead of 2 full years so it would be a shorter time there. I looked up how to apply to their program and guess what! They don't require you to take this awful test..YAY! So I get my two recommendation letters together, my experience form I had to fill out saying I've been a PT Aide for 4.5 years almost 5, along with a bunch of other forms. I sent it my application and now I'm Waiting...and still waiting..which is a good thing right now because they said they won't hand out acceptance letters until May or June. I'm so nervous right now it's like my life is being held in the hands of three people up at CCC and MC right now to determine if this is where I should be.

I don't really have a back up plan if I get turned down again. I really don't want to sit on my but for another year doing nothing. I will probably try and find another job somewhere that pays more and I can work full time. Not sure if it will be in PT still or something else. I guess we will see where life takes me and take it one day at a time.