Labels

Punk, girly, country, emo, badass, rocker, sadist, scene..those are all labels that we try to fit our personality and style into. A couple weeks ago I was talking to my sister and saying how I don't know who I am as far as labeling goes. She was like see this is what bugs me, you are so fake because you say that you are one label and then you act the opposite. You have two different personalities, with some people you act one way and with other people you act like your normal self. I was a little taken back by this but it made sense to me because I have been trying to be two different people. So I asked my sister what she would label me as because I had no idea and she said "You're like me, I'm Bi I like two different things, I can be girly or rocker. I love girly cute things but I also love rocker and dark things." This actually made sense to me because during the summer I'm more likely to dress girly then anything and during the fall and winter I'm more rocker dressed. I still love cute girly things but I also love scremo music and rocker like things. 

So I'm tired of hiding one side from people, very few people actually get to meet both sides of my personality but I thought since were into this subject I would share with you my real true self. This blog has been more my girly, happy side where I don't show my anger or depression. I also have a tumblr that I have become quite fond of, and update everyday. It has everything about it on it, my girly side along with my depression side. This is taking a lot of me to share this with you because I don't hold back on my tumblr. So just as a warning but if you are easily triggered by anything I suggest you don't look at my tumblr, or just be cautious. 

http://keeptruckingon.tumblr.com/

Peace & Love  

Good and Bad

I failed my first practical by 1 freaking point!!! Ugh it sucked so badly but I didn't feel that bad because over half the class failed as well. I don't know school was just getting to me so badly the last two weeks. I was so close to just quiting but then I got some papers back and realized that I'm actually doing okay in my classes. It just lifted my spirits knowing that my grades are still okay and I am still passing the program. I still think they put too much pressure on us in this program but what can I do. I've been so stressed out lately and my family life isn't helping much either. We are stuck in a sticky situation with my neighbor who is my sister's best friend and more like a sister to me. I hate seeing people in pain and knowing that there is nothing I can do to make it better. I think my anti-anxiety meds need to be increased because I'm still feeling the stress of anxiety right now.

However, in other news..the good news...I got water boy!! Yesterday I went in there and he asked for my number, we've been talking ever since. I knew I felt a connection with him since the first time I saw him. We are literally perfect for one another, we like the same things and we both like each other. I'm so happy about this but I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up and it will all be a dream. I guess you really do find someone when you least expect it and in places you least expect to find someone. We shall see where this goes..

Peace & Love